Sunday, 21 August 2016

"Whispers and Shadows" - 2 - Weapons of Mass Destruction

Thumbscrew is still breastfeeding. The boys are ten plus months now but their mum believes she is doing the best for them and I tend to agree. I recall the first time I saw a pregnant woman's boobs after she had given birth to her child. They  were like every porn stars dream - large, rock hard yet oddly looking as though they were  plastic jelly moulds. Thumbscrew's are no different. It is she who describes them as her 'weapons of mass destruction' a phrase I find funny. 

We went to Leigh-on-Sea last week. I wanted to buy an autumn coat ready for the fall so Thumbscrew volunteered to accompany me. Wherever she goes the boys go too. We had parked near to the shop where I had seen this coat I liked. I had convinced myself I just had to get the coat as it was half its usual price. As we were sitting there by the kerbside Thumbscrew suddenly said - 

'Have a feel.' 

Unsure I had heard her right I replied, 'Beg your pardon?'.

'My boobs, have a feel. The right one has just filled with milk.'

Well, I have done a lot of weird things in my life but this was one of the weirdest requests I had ever had. Besides, I haven't had a woman ask that of me for many years and never one of my daughters.

'Er, that's a bit freaky even for me.'

'Don't be silly. I'm not asking you to fondle me just feel the difference between one boob to the other.'

With one hand turned knuckle out so the back of my hand pushed against the left one, I applied pressure.

'Normal squidgy breast feel.'

'Now the other one.'

As before hand reversed, palm out facing.

'Blimey, it's solid.'

It was at this moment we noticed the elderly gentleman staring transfixed as he walked on by. His look was a picture of disbelief. What he saw was some old fossil with his hand against a young woman's breasts.

'It's okay,' I shouted, 'she's my daughter.'

Oddly, this didn't improve his disproving glare.  
Russell Cuts the Corn From The Brewers Whiskers.

1 comment:

Cara H said...

"It's not what you think" stories are always fun!
I stopped nursing my son when he reached six months, not because I had a problem with doing it for longer, but because he kept biting me!

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A Utility Fish Shed Blog

A Utility Fish Shed Blog