Monday, 8 April 2013

A Proper Cup Of Tea (Living With Mum 10)

“There you are son,” said Mum gurning a lubricious sort of smile at me, “a cup of tea made with real tea leaves.”
     I thanked her, taking hold of china mug in one hand whilst manipulating lips into supping mode, I then sipped at the steaming beverage. One humongous mouthful later I felt my teeth rattling against my tongue as my gums retreated into the roof of my mouth and my eyes crossed. My saliva dried up making speech virtually impossible. The tea had obviously been strained through some geriatrics gusted garments. It was the vilest brew I have ever had the displeasure to have filled the old cavity with. I think those poor souls drowned in the wreck of the Old Aspidistra, or Hibiscus or whatever the ruddy boat was called, would have found even the briny salt more palatable than this moribund concoction.
    Can a drink be moribund? Well, yes, after tasting this I can assure you it can, for it sure as hell left me dilapidated, declining and dying in ways most horrid.
    All this tommy rot about the past and all it produced being somehow covered in glowing sepia tones is all well and good but when those self-same sepia tones have turned a cloudy mahogany, looking as though dredged from the stagnant depths of father Thames then the glorious past can shuffle off and hide in some dusty tome.
    Mind you Mum’s ‘real tea’ looks rather splendid when applied with large brush to garden fence.


all words and art are copyright © of Russell 'C.J' Duffy.To view my books on Amazon/Kindle go here: -- For another side of CJ go here: sOMeThiNg For tHE wEeKeND, SiR?


Perfect Virgo said...

I wonder if many things are weaker or milder these days and our palates have accomodated that, so we recoil at rich flavours?

I think butter is yellower, milk creamier and apples sweeter. Maybe it's just these rose-tinted specs of mine! Tea produced by both sets of my grandparents was definitely dark orange too.

Tempest Nightingale LeTrope said...

Her tea sounds like UPS coffee.
I worked for UPS some fifteen years gone by. Their coffee was like mud. One could practically chew it.

BlackEmpress said...

I love the details of the scenerio right down to the bottom!
Perhaps it takes a little 'getting used to'!

Russell Duffy said...

PV>>>And Mars bars are smaller!

Ms Le Trope>>>Chew it, cook it, roast it or place on the roof of your house as insulation.

BlackEmpress>>>Getting used to? I'd rather get used to being whipped by a dominatrix. Hmmmm, then again....

Nicole Braganza said...

I love how you say that "The tea had obviously been strained through some geriatrics gusted garments".

I thought that only happened in my house! ;)

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A Utility Fish Shed Blog