Monday, 13 August 2012

In my absence Great Britain has hosted the Olympic Games:  I have started a new job: Mum has gone further down the painful path to her ultimate destination and suddenly everyone loves Boris Johnson. The games have been universally praised with the highest accolades coming from an American journalist and weirdly an Aussie. No matter the rights and wrongs or if we as a nation will ever recover the huge amount of money spent, the British athletes did all the right things. They endeavoured beyond my comprehension of hard work then they let their talent speak for itself. They were, one and all magnificent and I am incredibly proud of them. 

The young Royals also put in an appearance and in so doing gave the world a glimpse of how far the monarchy has come. I believe William will prove to be a worthy King one day when the crown passes to him from his father. The thought of our wonderful, indefatigable Queen dying does not bear thinking about but all things must pass. Even sovereigns of such greatness as she has shown herself to be will sadly die. In the unlikely event of there ever be an elected Head of State then who better to fulfil that role apart from Elizabeth Windsor. Perhaps the future of the Monarchy will change. I doubt it. More people seem to like them than those who detest them. Personally, I dislike privilege. I like the thought of Democracy. We don't have it.

The games have lifted our collective spirits even if our political leaders are unable to do the same with the economy. Perhaps it is time for a change.

My absence has been due to work commitments but also the terrible tiredness I am currently feeling. I fear my moroseness is down to finding a job but one that is so draining, so demeaning that it drags a dark cloud over my head. I am grateful to have found employment; grateful to the company I now work for in giving me a chance. It is a hollow sham though, a charade on my part for each day I fight this awful depression that threatens to smother me. I do fight it though but home life is finally wearing me down. Lorna’s words rise up to haunt me. I should leave but where would I go?

I have made am effort of late to write again. The latest chapter in ‘Hand in Glove’ has grown to become the longest thus far in the silly novel. I have also turned my attention once again to ‘The Wilful Walks.’ The first book needed amending. It was far to of ‘the working man’ with far too many cheap, embarrassing asides, bracketed of course, to the reader as though I were taking on the role of a pantomime dame. They have gone as has much of the repetitive narrative. I also saw some large gaps that needed filling but not as a ‘filler’ but with full and proper detail. This I am still working on. The word count has increased from mid eighty thousand to close to one hundred with still several more chapters to compose. I think that I had wanted to portray Essex as not being the stereotype it so often is cast as but instead revealed the green, countryside that surrounds me. I need to be honest though, warts and all. I will now write about Romford and Dagenham and Rainham and Basildon.

I have said before that I want these  ‘Wilful Walks’ to be a series of three. The first will be Essex as that is where I was born. The next will be London as that is where my grandparents came from. The final book will be about Ireland for that is where the Duff’s or Duffy’s originate. The London walks have been amended and will not feature Dave’s excellent artwork. This is not an act of spite. I still admire his work immensely. My fault was that I was so desperate to work with such a talented man that I forsook my original intent to write these books as my own cathartic expression of self. I was so enamoured with Dave’s ability that I neglected to inform the London walks with my history preferring instead to present them as ‘our’ travels. I still would give my eye teeth for him to illustrate the books but the text, my work, has to return to what it was meant to be about: me, my family, my roots and the quest to find something worthwhile in my existence.  

all words and art are copyright © of Russell 'C.J' Duffy.To view my books on Amazon/Kindle go here: -- For another side of CJ go here: sOMeThiNg For tHE wEeKeND, SiR?

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