Wednesday, 9 August 2017

The Village Tales of Fekenham Swarberry - Book Five - The Runaway Cadaver - Chapter 4 - "The Winchester Crozier"


The Winchester Crozier

Harmonious Boyle, Bishop of Westminster, esteemed by his holiness the Pope, the bane of Vicar Elvis Linkthorpe, pulled on linen gloves over his long fingered, porcelain white hands. Before him, laid in a cosseted cardboard box lined with bubble wrap, was the Winchester Crozier. The facsimile of a shepherd’s crook, hand carved out of ivory, that connects to the staff as carried, so legend has it, by St.  Nicholas or Nikolaos of Myra, the 4th century Christian and miracle worker. Boyle took hold of the crozier delicately as though a thing of such antiquity might snap if not handled carefully and then attached it to the wooden staff.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” He asked the suited man beside him, one Exmire Dimduck proprietor of Dimduck and Daughter, professionals in packaging and transporting ancient antiquities.
“Indeed, sir. A marvel to behold.”
“How is it to be transported?”
“The item is placed, crozier and staff as instructed, within a cardboard box surrounded by bubble wrap. This box is then placed with another, a larger box which again is surrounded by bubble wrap and then, once more, the two boxes are placed into a final cardboard box, again surrounded with bubble wrap before being placed into a wooden chest which also has bubble wrap surrounding the consignment.”
“Is that the wooden box over there?”
“Indeed, it is, sir.”
“Looks like a coffin but taller.”
“Exactly, so, sir. The additional height is to allow for the item, crozier and staff connected as it were, to travel as one single piece.”
“Good, good. You have the destination address?”
“I do, sir. The one you gave me.”
“China. It is going to China. There is a growing movement, a blossoming one might say, of the faith in that troubled land. The Cathedral in Hong Kong is going to exhibit it. God willing nothing will go wrong.”

“Nothing can go wrong, sir. Every eventuality has been covered. Trust me, nothing can go wrong.” 
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Russell Cuts the Corn From The Brewers Whiskers.

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