Saturday, 21 January 2017

I've Been Thinking....

...of the morning, of waking to greet a new day, a new life as the old fades with the passing of last night's dreams. Waking up now is like waking up many years from now. The sky outside is the old sky, is a new horizon. The seasons that come and go dress the garden in myriad shades and colours, scents and sensations. My memories grow as I gather more to my heart. My children are no longer children less they be forever children to me. Not mine for I do not own them but rather I am their father as they are mothers and fathers to my grandchildren of whom I derive such pleasure. They owe me nothing yet I owe them everything. Children and grandchildren.

Each new day I write words onto a page then watch the words form into stories which in turn mature as my writing evolves along with the stories I write. Everything changes yet everything stays the same. Life spins on a wheel. The wheel is but a cog in a larger wheel. All that is, is connected. All things are of one creation, linked by non-design yet not by accident. God is a word. When the internal greets the external the eternal enters the mind. You are never alone.

I have been giving away my old vinyl, old CD's, old books and more. Attachment sucks you dry as desire attaches to your mind like a barnacle on a boat, like mildew, like a fungus sapping the strength from a tree. My old desire to possess all I desired has left me as I desire not to possess but to love and be loved. Can anything be better than being loved?

Russell Cuts the Corn From The Brewers Whiskers.


Cara H said...

It's hard for me to give stuff away as I struggle with hoarding disorder. I try not to beat myself up about it too much, but it is a very difficult thing.

Russell Duffy said...

I just found hoarding stuff so painful. It became out of control. I had books forty or more years old that I hadn't read in decades. Vynil I hadn't played since 1970. Now if I want to read I go to the library.

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A Utility Fish Shed Blog

A Utility Fish Shed Blog