Sunday, 19 July 2015

The VillageTales of Fekenham Swarberry - UNPUBLISHED WORK - Book Four - The Politics of Turnips - Part Four 'Conclusions' - The Winchester Post


The Winchester Post
Est: 1741

Wynkingate Scandal Rocks Albion

Classified documents released yesterday revealed that The East India Trading Company violated the United Albion government embargo on arms trade with Imperial China. The company’s Chief Executive, Wynkin de Worde III, was arrested yesterday evening pending further investigation into the scandal that has spread like a bush fire, engulfing both the political and business worlds.

Mister de Worde has been head of the conglomerate for thirty years in which time the company has grown to be the world’s largest business with a turnover in excess of a trillion pound sterling.

Under Wynkin de Worde III the oldest trading company has grown in size and power to such an extent it now has more money than many third world nations. In recent years controversy has beleaguered the East India Company as politicians from both parties have called for legislation to regulate the unprecedented growth. This latest disclosure fuels calls for the break-up of the company into manageable smaller units said Whig parliamentarian Huguenot Tyerack.

With Imperial China constantly expanding their territory and now armed with weapons of mass destruction  the threat of a Second Great War seems all the more possible. 

Prime Minister Flair has called for an emergency all-party, four nation meeting following Tory leader Ken Stark’s dismissal of senior party member and Chief Whip, Regus Nasaltwist. Mister Stark was unavailable for comment but did release this brief statement.

“Regus Nasaltwist has resigned his post as Tory Chief Whip but also as a party member having admitted to accepting cash payments from a commercial source. This act breached both confidentiality agreements existing within the Tory party and also, allegedly, broke national security. Mister Nasaltwist has volunteered to assist the police with their investigations. Until these are completed I am unable to say more. I will of course lend my full support to, and work in accord with, the Prime Minister in resolving this very serious issue.”

It has long been known that Regus Nasaltwist worked on a consultancy basis for East India Trading. Such an activity has to be declared then given consent by the party leadership. What remained undisclosed was what that role entailed. It has been suggested that the former Chief Whip was involved in negotiation with Imperial Chinese delegates when a contract was drawn up to sell the Chinese government the technology to build microwave bombs. Such a deal falls outside the international communities’ embargo on selling weapons of mass destruction to the Imperial State.

It is still unclear how the documents proving Mister Nasaltwist’s guilt got into the hands of the Tory party hierarchy.

Both the President of The United States, Lucille Wignut, and her counterpart, Ingrid Van Dorsalvin, President of Federal Europe, have stated their concern. “With the constant threat of war as Imperial China advances on Burma, this news comes at a most inopportune time,” said President Wignut. “We shall be making our feelings strongly known to English Prime Minister Flair and to his co-First Ministers of Albion.”

Chinese officials have denied purchasing any such technology.

The fallout from this scandal also revealed Regus Nasaltwist’s involvement with a localised fascist group known as ‘The Brethren.’ This gives cause to further concern but also a degree of stupefaction. A covert organisation, working strictly for The East India Company, was also known by the same name. Sources have suggested that this secret sub-division of the world’s largest conglomerate consisted of armed agents who actively sought out those they believed could endanger the parent company. No one from the East India Company was available for comment. Why Nasaltwist chose to use the same name for such an odious group beggar’s belief but as Parminter Fullcock, Whig candidate for Warden of Wessex suggested, “Regus often trod a perverse path.”

The government of India and other member nations of the Commonwealth have raised their concerns at this potentially catastrophic development. With China now having its military might camped along the borders of Burma, the situation looks grim. Australia has demanded a full enquiry into the affair while Japan has turned to the United States to ensure that America will rigidly adhere to the Asian/Occidental treaty of 1967.

It is thought that what is now being called Wynkingate was discovered after S.I.S agents began an undercover operation some fifteen years ago. It has been suggested that former Prime Minster, Margaret Major sanctioned the operation when still in power. The fact that it has taken too long might seem unacceptable but before such judgements are made it should be remembered how powerful the East India Trading had become. The company was once described as being a ‘corporate nation-state’ In light of how gargantuan the business had grown, it might now be advisable to legislate against such a thing ever happening again.

Roger Drywit. 

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Russell Cuts the Corn From The Brewers Whiskers.

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