Sunday, 21 June 2015

The VillageTales of Fekenham Swarberry - UNPUBLISHED WORK - Book Four - The Politics of Turnips - Part Three 'Reactions' - Chapter Thirty Two


December 2007
Fekenham Teenagers Still Missing

Police Inspector Adam Lazarus, the officer in charge of both the Muckleford bank robbery and the disappearance of Sally Braganza-Smythe and her boyfriend Billy Twist, had this to say when interviewed:
“We have managed to apprehend two of the four bank robbers and we are confident the remaining thieves will shortly be in custody. The crooks had planned to escape by taking the ferry to the Isle of Wight but we caught them as they attempted to flee from a police cordon.
The two men captured are brothers. The two still free are effectively trapped on the island as all methods of leaving, ports and airship terminals, are being closely monitored. It is now just a matter of time before they too are caught.”
The Inspector, whose service record has been much praised by senior members of the Winchester CID, appeared very confident over the matter of catching the gang.
The gang were remarkable in that they dressed as Santas before binding bank employees then absconding with the contents of the branch safe.
When asked about the Fekenham teenagers still missing Inspector Lazarus seemed less confident.
“With the capture of the remaining bank robbers now in the hands of the Isle of Wight’s police division, I have all my remaining officers, including local man Sergeant Updike and constable Strap, interviewing locals, residents and searching the area. I also have to thank the Fekenham community, especially Mr and Mrs Ramhard, Vicar Linkthorpe and publican Arthur Bentwhistle for their amazing support and the way they have thrown themselves into the search.
The fact that both Sally and Billy are still missing should not give concern. They are both responsible young people. I am sure we will find them in good health and within a short time.”
Your correspondent then spoke with Julie Twist, mother of Billy, and also Anita Braganza-Smythe, mother of Sally.
Julie had this to say:
“If anyone in the area sees either Sally or Billy please contact us. We will treat all calls in strict confidence. And if either Billy or Sally read this and for whatever reason have decided to run off and elope then please, please phone either me or Anita. We won’t be cross, we promise, but we are worried out of our minds so please, please let us know you are both safe.”
This is the first time in living memory that children from the village of Fekenham have gone missing. Residents of Wick, Muckleford, Birchtickle and Arkenfelt are also joining in the search.
The Gazette wishes them all the best and hopes Sally and Billy are soon found safe and well.


Jean Grimstain
– Artist of panoramic land and seascapes.

Jean Grimstain
– Portraitures on request. No nose too big, no feature too      small.                                                                                                                                                              

Jean Grimstain
– Birchtickle 84278

Molly Sharptack’s Tea Rooms
Fekenham Swarberry
Where you can have your cake and eat it too.

Polly Jean Harvey
Folk singer extraordinaire
December 9TH at 08.00


Dear Vera. Found your cat. If you want him come and scrape him of my front tyre. Do I still get £20 reward?  Norris Squirter, Ambleside Avenue.
Russell Cuts the Corn From The Brewers Whiskers.

1 comment:

teresa martin said...

i had forgotten about poor poostick.....

any tickets left for the pj harvey show?