Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Joseph Goebbels - The Truth


Following a routine dance performance in Rheydt in 1918 whilst jigging with a Prussian female bodybuilder named Katarin Shitenhausen who stepped on his right foot crushing his out as well as his instep, Joey turned instead to writing. His first novel, a Kafkaesque fable on a land filled with short arse men with square moustache's on their upper lips who went about raising their right hand under other peoples noses shouting 'schnell schnell kartoffelkopf für zweir' which made little sense then and even less now, was declined by publishers Gloch, Klock und Spieglie. "Such a tale is beyond the pale" announced Klock to Spiegle who only had the one.

Joseph was ethnically Dutch, hermetically Prussian but cosmetically Swiss.  Amid these set-backs and undeterred by the size of it all, Joey married Johanna Maria Magdalena Fryundapan. Having a penis with a limp and a wife with the gestation period of an African elephant meant that although inseminated in 1924 Magda's children didn't arrive until 1933. "They are like London buses," complained Joe, "they never run on time and when they arrive they all come together."



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