Friday, 3 May 2013

Warm urine - Squid the Kid again (Living With Mum 15)


Cold coupled with C.O.P.D has left Mum feeling desperately under the weather. So much so she decamped early to bed last night leaving me alone to do the sort of things I wouldn’t when she’s around: reading, writing and watching telly at a sound level that doesn’t do harm to passing crows.
When I finally gave in as head started to nod and the old eyelids started to droop, I crept into my room as silently as poss so as not to disturb my dearest parent who, judging by the sound, was deforesting an entire rain forest of its woodland with her snoring.
Not wishing to make any noise by the flushing of the loo I took the unusual steps of peeing into an empty bottle of Lucozade. I must assure my readers that this is not my normal habit and I performed this function only with my antique elders good health in mind.
Feeling quite cream crackered I took to bed and went into deep sleep. I awoke several hours later at that period when all sorts of chemicals start to flood the bod. My blood sugar was low, due no doubt to maters insistence I eat custard at supper. Grabbing the trusty Lucozade bottle which I always keep by my bedside I took a huge swig of warm liquid.
Warm liquid?
Yes, you have it in one. I drank my own urine. It tasted as foul, almost anyway, as the ruddy tea mum makes in her vintage teapot.
So much for being thoughtful eh?

Anyway, now for something less unpleasant. Here is further proof that even an ageing rebel with a limited cause can, once in awhile, produce something rather special....


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And yes, I do say so.



Another example of me getting something right! And this weekend she is staying with me!!!!!!
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all words and art are copyright © of Russell 'C.J' Duffy.To view my books on Amazon/Kindle go here: https://www.amazon.com/author/russellduffy -- For another side of CJ go here: sOMeThiNg For tHE wEeKeND, SiR?

4 comments:

thecheesewhines said...

I can't say I ever drank my own urine, but one time I was sleepwalking. I woke up due to the feel of a brisk breeze on my butt. I was crouching beside my car, taking a whiz. Luckily I live down the end of a cul de sac that is not well traveled or well lit, and it was three in the morning.
My son has never let me live this incident down.

Russell Duffy said...

Ha ha! Never sleep walked in my life but I can see how that leaves you open to a spot of teasing. Just flash those nude baby photos of him around the next time his girlfriend calls on you!

Vanessa V Kilmer said...

I hate when I have dreams about going to the bathroom and almost pee the bed (I peed in bed when I was younger.)

Beautiful daughter, Russell.

Russell Duffy said...

Nessa>>>Peed the bed? Good lord, really? (So did I and I sucked my thumb too but not at the same time!)