Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Blowin' In The Wind (and not a Brass Band in sight) - (Living With Mum 17)


Being a Salvationist Mum has always expressed her love of things musical. She expressed herself recently all the way down the hall with occasional choral embellishments supplied soto vocé.
“I am so sorry.”
The bass bassoon honked a deep raspberry that resounded from the passage down which mother trod.
“Oh how I wish this didn’t happen.”
The tuba blasted out a long low note potent enough to make china figurines shake on the shelves.
“Oh dear, most regrettable.”
A series of sharp notes emitted from the French horn section clipped the décor with their tinny sound.
I am not revealing anything I shouldn't here, not performing some shabby revelation or breaking the old girls confidence so please don’t think I am. This unfortunate state of affairs follows on from 2012’s emergency operation.  The scar tissue from the bowel op was removed then re-joined. In that sense it functions better than it did before if with little concern who hears it and with a force not even Chernobyl could match. . This has now become the thing of legend if still some embarrassment to the Duffy Dame.
When we first trolleyed around Tesco with Mum pushing the cart our fellow shoppers,upon seeing the frail pensioner shuffling along, naturally thought that the loud retorts were in fact some sort of device attached to dearest mother, one that enabled her to propel herself around the isles – a sort of rocket jet pack.
No dilithium crystal here Jim but plenty of fruit and fibre..
It was whilst we were browsing by the butchers section that a low flying, silent but deadly slipped away sending small children scuttling for cover.
Mum did what any of us would upon scenting the foul odour; she pretended it wasn’t her. The savage look she cast my way left fellow shoppers in no doubts who it was that had dropped the chemical fallout.
Glances most withering were glanced my way. I muttered things inaudible and bowed my head in shame.
A mushroom cloud of embarrassment descended upon me as I hung my head low.
More fruit mum?

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all words and art are copyright © of Russell 'C.J' Duffy.To view my books on Amazon/Kindle go here: https://www.amazon.com/author/russellduffy -- For another side of CJ go here: sOMeThiNg For tHE wEeKeND, SiR?

1 comment:

Shimmerrings said...

... "a sort of rocket jet pack"... omg, I got a good chuckle out of that one! but the Creator will punish you, for this, you know... but, then, she did embarrass you, roflmao! Poor thing... you!