Monday, 14 May 2012

Failure

Failure or lack of success is a standard by which we often judge someone’s life or the person themselves. By what criteria do we apply such a noun to summarise an individual’s existence? Perhaps someone who lacks the drive or ambition to climb the greasy ladder of industry but who chugs along slowly at their own modest pace could be called a failure. Does this mean only those who achieve the highest office are to be considered successes? Surely success has a multi-layered value. It cannot simply be judged by such an ambiguous yardstick. It could easily be said of me that I am a failure. My marriage broke, probably irreparably, my career in ruins, my writing the stuff of dreams and not particularly of any merit. Is that not failure?

Failure is nothing but a reflection of others desires to promulgate their own ego. They judge you so they by comparison look better to the mass collective. If I have failed then what of my children, is not fathering such beautiful beings success in its self? And what of my success at work, few and small though they are? Did I not win several huge accounts that brought in multi-millions to the men who employed me? I may have been wayward, arrogant even, hard to work with and at times wilful beyond measure but still those accounts were won and won by me.

I sound defensive because I feel I need to be. I know too well my true failings and try to compensate with male bravado, my old faithful companion attitude raising its head again like a cudgel to beat back those who decry me. The only way to really do that is to concentrate harder. Focus more keenly and re-double my efforts.

I saw an advert recently calling for any drivers to apply for jobs. Apparently, you can make £350 a day driving. £1,400 in four days sounds reasonable to me. £10,000 in a month sounds bloody good even if highly unlikely and bearing in mind that would mean working seven days a week for a month. I will go for it with my eye wide open for it would mean, it must mean, being self-employed which in turn means paying all the bits and pieces associated with running your own business.

My writing has suffered of late. I have not gone near either book four of Fekenham or the spin-off, ‘Hand In Glove.’ I have, however, finished the second chapter in the Simian Simpering proposed book of short stories. The book will be titled: "Stinkfinger Cuttlefish (Dredging Silkworms and Ten Reversible Faces) - The Further Adventures of Simian Simpering" and the chapter in question,  ‘The Lion in Lionel and the Kink in Blossom’ is frankly surreal. It is so surreal that I now jokingly refer to this project as being ‘A Comedy Kafka on Cocaine’ which I feel is appropriate.

Never give up is my motto.

.
.
.
all words and art are copyright © of Russell 'C.J' Duffy.To view my books on Amazon/Kindle go here: https://www.amazon.com/author/russellduffy -- For another side of CJ go here: sOMeThiNg For tHE wEeKeND, SiR?

No comments: